This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race...

Well, since i'm listening to Fall Out Boy right now and it kinda explains my life right now, i thought this would be a good title for today's post. Between the promicin ban, Anti's, and my parents own reservations, my life has become an arms race. Sometimes i feel kinda scared on this side of the battle. Except for my brother and many of the promicin positives that have been encouraging me the past few days (THANK YOU), I feel kinda alone. My parents still are against promicin and fear for their lives BECAUSE of us, but they are against us moving and i feel like they are against Xavier and I altogether.

Like i've said before and i'll say it again, we are moving. We have to get away from all of this and i hate it for my baby sister because i love her so much, but i'm sure after this is over i will see her again. This morning I started packing, it was hard dealing with my father's crazy looks when he walked by my room. My mother clanging pots and pans and slamming doors, like she always does when somethings bothering her and she doesn't want to talk about it. I feel like crying, part of me thinks i'm doing the right thing and then the other part of me feels like i'm deserting my family. Xay and I plan on leaving monday, we think the sooner the better for all of us.

As for the promicin arms race, i really hope this ban doesn't go through. Because i know me and my brother have each other, but how do i know if someone where we are going might be an informat? The last thing either of us wants is to end up in an NTAC quarantine. Because if that happens we will NEVER see our family again. I always pray for the positives in Seattle because i know the really have a battle on their hands. I still stand by promicin and i still want to change the world. I haven't been able to practice with my ability very much with everything going on with my parents. As MarkusV pointed out in his comment, i don't need to use my power when i'm angry or frustrated for fear of starting a tornado or something.

I won't be able to post tomorrow, but before i leave on monday i'll give you all an update and maybe once we get there i can set up my laptop and tell you that also. Thank you for all your love and support, Xavier and I are going to need it.

Alex